8: How to Create Boundaries AND Compassion

Boundaries are simply the recognition of personal space and personal needs. Understanding that we have a choice to be active or passive in our responses. To create and to have boundaries are a necessary part of our self-love and self-care. It’s also healthy and beneficial to have these boundaries when interacting with others and having relationships. In creating boundaries we can naturally become more compassionate towards ourselves and others. Because the way to establish our boundaries is to truly know the self, to dive deeper within and to understand our deepest wounds or triggers. In becoming aware of this journey to the darker depths we discover the light that can then be spread to others. Brene Brown says that compassion is not a virtue — it is a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have — it’s something we choose to practice.

In Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach explains compassion and awareness are the two ‘wings’ of self-acceptance. In being aware, we can understand the reality of the situations and emotions around us. Having compassion for ourselves honors this process. Together, we can practice and come to self-acceptance. The route to compassion is not easy and has to be cultivated.  “Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.” – Brene Brown

Through self-acceptance we can begin to live a conscious and aligned life, but this also requires us to be clear on our choices, limits and boundaries. 

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